Professional Sound - Indepth


This tidbit of audio humour comes from the newsgroup’s “Canonical List of Light Bulb Jokes”. You can access this Usenet group through the Internet of a variety of online communications services – it’s also a great place to pick up audio tips and pose questions to your peers.

Q: How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: It’s in the manual. Didn’t you read the manual?
A2: If you just turn the other dimmers down a bit, the client won’t even notice that the bulb has gone out.
A3: There is NO scientific difference between your olod bulb and the new one, and anyone who tells you otherwise is peddling snake oil.
A4: Two. One to operate the dimmer and one to say, “A little too bright. Turn it down.”
A5: If you use 110-ohm balanced line in your lamps, you can go for dozens of generations without changing.
A6: Three, if the bulb has poor off-axis response.
A7: Light bulb…? You’re still using those?
A8: One, two, one, two…is this thing on?
A9: I don’t know; how many engineers did it take at (rival studio)?
A10: None. Since it’s analog, leave it broken and replace it with the latest digital bulb from Alesis.
A11: None – they’ll just fix it in the mix.

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About Andrew King
Andrew King is the Editor-in-Chief at Professional Sound. He is also a co-host of Canadian Musician Radio and NWC Webinars’ series of free music and entertainment industry webinars.
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